


Icy Seas

by rykitty



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Dream Bubbles (Homestuck), Existentialism, Gen, Outer Space, The Homestuck Epilogues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29072874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rykitty/pseuds/rykitty
Summary: ==>Terezi: Search for Vriska.
Relationships: Terezi Pyrope & Dirk Strider, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Icy Seas

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS FOR: anxiety attack/breakdown, starvation.

Space is consuming you. 

At least, your space is. Because inside it contains colorful, tasty cracks, diagonal and horizontal and all types of angles, jumbled and mixed together in a rainbow flurry that makes it hard for you to discern one exact hex; your space is a personal piece of art, created by destruction. It tells your story, personal and true. 

Your name is Terezi Pyrope. And as you observe with your sniffer these broken shards of the universe, the only interesting thing to look at for miles, it gets more and more tiring to smell. Every single hue reminds you of your hive back on Alternia, flamboyant and never boring, rich with a distraction. When you sniff this sky you only taste bitter nostalgia. Lately you can’t decide whether that’s a good or bad thing. 

You used to love the color red. 

Well, you still do. But now it holds a different meaning for you then it used to. What that color represents to you now is the stuffed pouncebeast you would hold as a small troll going to sleep. The bright cherry glasses perked on your sniffer, the apple-tasting cane with the dragon on top in your sylladex– they were the only memorabilia of who you used to be. For selfish reasons, you want to go back in time and experience them again. 

You hold your phone up to your face and it glows. Unread messages from many different people, trolls and humans all alike. You ignore them, with the exception of John as of late, but he hasn’t sent you a text in a while. Continuing to scroll down, you open the particular chat log you’ve been spamming for who knows how long. The one that will never be read.

GC: H3Y VR1SK4!  
GC: 1T’S D4Y 1025  
GC: JUST K1DD1NG 1 DON’T FUCK1NG KNOW WH4T D4Y 1T 1S >:?  
GC: MOST DR34M BUBBL3S H4V3 B33N D3STROY3D SO 1T’S PR3TTY D3PR3SS1NG OUT H3R3  
GC: NO ON3 TO BOTH3R!  
GC: H3H3H3  
GC: 1F 1 RUN 1NTO ON3 1’LL L3T YOU KNOW  
GC: M4YB3 YOU’LL W4NN4 SW1NG BY >:]  
GC: L4ST T1M3 1 H4D CONT4CT W1TH 4NOTH3R L1V1NG SP3C1M3N W4S 4N 3SP3C14LLY T4LK4T1V3 K4NKR1  
GC: 1F YOU TH1NK TH3 ON3 W3 KN3W W4S B4D TH1NK 4G41N  
GC: 1 HOP3 YOU’R3 OK  
GC: WHO 4M 1 K1DD1NG? YOU’R3 PROB4BLY F1N3  
GC: T3LL TH3 T4VROS YOU’R3 PUNK1NG RN 1 S41D H1 H4H4H4H4  
GC: 1’M SO HUNGRY  
GC: BUT UH  
GC: Y34H  
GC: SM3LL Y4 L4T3R VR1SK4!!!

You close out of the conversation and quietly grip the phone in your palmhusk. Memories resurface of the time you decided to scroll to the top and reread old messages from the very beginning– when you first met her– and you bitterly contort your expression to avoid any emotion that tried peeking out of the deepest part of your thinkpan. You’re Terezi Pyrope, dammit! And you don’t fucking cry. Especially if the tears to be wasted are about Vriska Serket. 

You scoff, tossing your phone back in your sylladex. To human hell with your moirail! If only she knew what you were doing for her. You deserve more thanks than there are stars in the sky.

But you can only focus so long on your anger. Your mind warps in weird ways, overthinking patterns and memories that don’t even belong to you. Space is getting to you. You’re delirious and lonely as the days drag on and on. You’re touch starved and you’re hungry. 

And then you think of the encounter with John, and you just feel sick to your stomach, and your mind begins to race. 

You’re sick, and you’re so hungry, and you’re numb despite the claws you dig into your skin. You hang your head low, feeble and exhausted. 

But it takes a lot to break your dedication. Your drive for justice. For what you believe is right. And right now, you just want your friend back. 

The scenery around you morphs, and you realize you must have fallen asleep. You’re no longer in your rocket, you’re standing in a place you’ve never been. It’s certainly not Alternia– the sun is out, calmly beating on your skin, prickling it. Squawkbeasts circle around you and chirp their songs, feathered wings grazing the water beneath them. Said water is vast and endless, a turquoise color too close to your blood for comfort. 

A few feet away from you is a familiar presence, back turned as he sits on the dock. You reach toward him.

TEREZI: H3Y  
TEREZI: R4SPB3RRY STR1D3R

He turns around as if he’s somehow accustomed to such a greeting, his triangular glasses reflecting in the fake light of a memory. He takes a gander at you, sitting stone silent. The salty breeze wafts your hair softly. 

DIRK: You’re alive.  
TEREZI: 1 L1K3 TO TH1NK SO Y3S

He doesn’t utter a word to your sarcasm, turning his back towards you once more to face the endless sea. You take it as an invitation to sit next to him, dragging your cane against the wood and plopping down on the creaky floorboards. 

TEREZI: TH1S PL4C3 F33LS K1ND OF LON3LY  
DIRK: You get used to it after a while.  
DIRK: It’s not like time exactly exists out here anyway.  
TEREZI: 1S TH1S YOUR H1V3?  
DIRK: Yeah.  
DIRK: Used to be.  
TEREZI: SO L1K3  
TEREZI: WH4T H4PP3N3D 1N YOUR S3SS1ON  
TEREZI: 1F YOU DON’T M1ND M3 4SK1NG  
DIRK: Nothing particularly important, I suppose. It’s alright, you're not dredging up any trauma or anything.  
DIRK: The meteor just never came.  
TEREZI: OH  
TEREZI: SH1T?  
DIRK: I’m guessing that something must have gone wrong in their timeline, and as a result their defeat carried over to us.  
DIRK: In order for our session to succeed, you guys needed to as well.  
DIRK: That stays true for just about any failed timeline for me and my friends. Even if we did everything right.  
TEREZI: TH4T SUCKS  
DIRK: Sure. But what can you do.  
DIRK: Some Dirks are more bitter about it than me.  
DIRK: Frankly, I’ve come to terms that death is out of my control.

You don’t respond. He shifts on his weight, as if he’s deciding on something.

TEREZI: DO YOU W4NT TO KNOW 4BOUT TH3 V3RS1ON OF YOU TH4T SURV1V3D  
DIRK: I was afraid to ask.  
TEREZI: DON’T WORRY  
TEREZI: 1T’S NOTH1NG TOO B4D  
TEREZI: JUST FROL1CK1NG 4ROUND T3L3V1S1ON W1TH YOUR BOYFR13ND  
DIRK: ...Jake?  
TEREZI: Y3S TH3 GR4SS SM3LL1NG ON3  
DIRK: The grass smelling one.  
TEREZI: YOU 4R3 H4PPY 1 TH1NK  
TEREZI: 4T F1RST 1T W4S R34LLY H4RD FOR 3V3RYON3 TO 4DJUST TO 34RTH C  
TEREZI: BUT TH3Y FOUND SOL4C3 1N 34CHOTH3R OR SOM3 STUP1D SH1T L1K3 TH4T  
TEREZI: WH3N 1 M3T YOU 1T W4S R34LLY 4WKW4RD B3TW33N YOU 4ND J4K3 BUT YOU’R3 B3TT3R TH4N 3V3R NOW  
DIRK: Terezi.  
TEREZI: Y34H?  
DIRK: Earth C is such a shitty fucking name.  
TEREZI: 1 KNOW  
DIRK: You’d think a group of children would have at least some form of creativity left. Man, weren’t you on that meteor for three years? That’s more than enough time to come up with the name for an entire planet.  
DIRK: But whatever. What do I know? Roxy used to hate my book title suggestions.  
DIRK: ...I’m glad that Jake is happy.  
TEREZI: H4V3 YOU S33N TH3 J4K3 FROM YOUR T1M3L1N3 4T 4LL?  
DIRK: No.  
DIRK: I haven’t seen anyone ever since we died.

For a moment, It falls silent. A brief second of grieving. Maybe from the both of you? As if he’s finally processing what you told him, the grip of his knuckles rap against the plank you sit on. 

DIRK: I know that I said the time continuum doesn’t exist out here.  
DIRK: But there is something in me that tells me I have been dead for a very long time.  
DIRK: I was just an unconscious soul floating around in the middle of space, dead and unaware.  
DIRK: And then the dream bubbles were created.  
DIRK: I thought that my childhood was isolated. I was foolish. I didn’t know what real loneliness felt like. Not until now.  
DIRK: There’s part of me that doesn’t care anymore. You learn to stop caring. Most ghosts do.  
DIRK: But that doesn’t mean you don’t miss being alive sometimes.

You don’t know what to say to that. 

DIRK: Why aren’t you on Earth C with everyone else, Terezi?  
TEREZI: 1’M LOOK1NG FOR MY VR1SK4  
DIRK: What happened to her?  
TEREZI: 1 DON’T KNOW 4ND TH4T’S WH4T 1’M TRY1NG TO F1ND OUT  
TEREZI: 1 4BSOLUT3LY R3FUS3 TO B3L13V3 TH3 S1NGL3 “R34L” T1M3L1N3 1NVOLV3S H3R D34TH  
TEREZI: SH3 1S OUT TH3R3 SOM3WH3R3  
TEREZI: W41T1NG FOR M3  
TEREZI: SH3 H4S TO B3  
TEREZI: OR 3LS3...

Your stomach rumbles, loud and disturbing. Dirk raises his head in surprise, and you hang your head above your lap. You’ve lost a lot of weight. Your wrist is bony now, as you raise it to rest on the noise.

DIRK: There’s food in my house.

He stands up, and before you start to follow suit, he’s offering his palm down at you for you to propel yourself up. You hesitate at first– normally you wouldn’t accept. You used to refuse such a thing, primarily because you were blind, and you wanted to prove you could maneuver easily on your own. Trolls on Alternia were self-centered like that.

You grab his palmhusk and hoist yourself up.

Grateful to finally get a bite to eat, you tiredly follow him into his hive. It’s uniquely his, and reminds you tremendously of the Dirk you personally know. Unorganized like his mind, but with eccentric pieces that don’t make sense at first glance. What looks like advanced technology is casually laying out on the ground– eclectic swords are hung, some swing from the ceiling. Photos of art that looks like Dave’s comics cover the walls in picture frames. 

DIRK: So like.  
DIRK: What do trolls eat?  
TEREZI: GRUB  
DIRK: Yeah ok what the fuck is that.  
TEREZI: 1 DON’T KNOW!!! 1T’S JUST GRUB!  
TEREZI: L1ST3N 1’LL T4K3 4NYTH1NG 4T TH1S PO1NT D1RK 1’M ST4RV1NG  
DIRK: Here. It’s crackers.

He tosses you a package that you catch with ease. You rip it open, stuffing the square in your mouth and swallowing it eagerly. It doesn't taste like anything you've ever had before, and it doesn’t particularly strike your fancy, but it’s the first thing you’ve eaten in a while, so it tastes delicious to you. Dirk turns back to the counter and begins tinkering with the objects on top of and inside of it.

DIRK: I’m making you soup.  
DIRK: I’ll give you heavy food later, but for now we need to give you light stuff. If I just gave you a piece of steak you might not digest it well after not eating for a while.  
TEREZI: YOU S33M TO KNOW YOUR STUFF

You finish the last of what was inside the crinkly plastic and you sigh. Your stomach shouts for more, but you hold it back, turning your focus away from the issue and back to Dirk.

TEREZI: WH4T 1F YOU H1T 4NOTH3R BUBBL3 4ND YOU LOS3 TH1S M3MORY  
DIRK: I can just think it back if I want.  
TEREZI: YOU CAN?  
DIRK: If there’s no one else, yeah. I’m usually alone, so I can just retreat back here.  
DIRK: I’m surprised you haven’t altered this one yet. Or you have and I’m failing to notice it.

You stop to consider.

TEREZI: 1 L1K3 1T H3R3  
TEREZI: 1T’S ODD BUT D1STR4CT1NG  
TEREZI: S1TT1NG 4LON3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF SP4C3 1 ONLY 3ND UP TH1NK1NG OF MYS3LF  
TEREZI: 1T’S 4 CH4NG3 OF P4CE  
TEREZI: 1T T4ST3S L1K3 1CY T34RS  
TEREZI: S4LTY 4ND COLD!!!!

Dirk doesn’t respond, stiffly continuing what he’s making until he’s done. The bowl he presents is warm and smells welcoming. You take it gracefully, the spoon shaking in your weak palm; you lift the silver utensil between your teeth and swallow demandingly. It’s good!

You down it quickly. You’re secretly grateful for Dirk’s presence– he isn’t demanding, talkative, draining. You can always put up an outgoing front, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the silence just a tad bit more. Growing up alone does that to you. Dirk must understand. That’s why he’s quiet, right? 

DIRK: You’re lucky your Megido shoved a ton of hospitality tips down my throat. She scolded me for a bit about how I didn’t offer to show her inside.  
TEREZI: W41T. L1K3, D4M4R4?  
DIRK: Uh, no?  
DIRK: Damara doesn’t give a shit.  
TEREZI: 4R4D14?  
TEREZI: 4R4D1A  
DIRK: Yeah?  
DIRK: Yeah, Aradia. Terezi, are you okay?

Your chest tightens all at once, your head foggy and drained, despite being in a dream. Aradia! Oh, Aradia. You need to find her. She can time travel. She can bring you to Vriska. She can help you. 

TEREZI: FUCK  
TEREZI: 1 FORGOT SH3 W4S ST1LL OUT H3R3 D1RK  
TEREZI: 1 N33D TO S33 H3R R1GHT NOW

You’re brought back to your senses then, albeit unreliable ones. A sliver of hope, just barely shining through the cracks of the canon. Something to hold onto. Something to convince yourself everything will be okay. You’re good at doing that. 

DIRK: Terezi, you’re freakin’ a guy out.  
DIRK: You’re delirious. We need to think about this.  
DIRK: I know you’re blinded by your goal, but are you sure Vriska’s even alive?  
DIRK: I mean, you’re the seer of mind, right? Wouldn’t you know to some extent of her presence?  
DIRK: If you really believed-

You slam your cane against the tile, and it surfaces a glowing crack.

TEREZI: FUCK B3L13F  
TEREZI: WH3R3 D1D B3L13F G3T YOU, HUH??  
TEREZI: WH3R3 1S 4R4D14, STR1D3R  
TEREZI: D1RK T3LL M3 WH3R3 SH3 1S NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
TEREZI: 1 N33D TO F1ND VR1SK4!!!!  
TEREZI: SH3’S 4L1V3!! SH3’S W41T1NG FOR M3!  
TEREZI: SH3 H4S TO B3

You begin to panic, psychotic and shaky, taking a step towards your newfound companion who worriedly backs up from your presence. You begin to yell, and the scenery changes from a hive surrounded by expanse to a purple and distorted feeling. You don’t bother to decipher what memory you resurfaced, but you can feel it’s scary. It’s terrifying and you want to wake up. There’s cracks surrounding you everywhere you look, and you are broken. You’re cold and you can smell the tart tastes of troll blood, you can feel purple, you can feel desperation leaking down your eyes as the sun burns them, violent and unforgiving, and you want nothing more than to wake up. 

You open your blind eyes to a shattered, multi-colored universe. Your phone inside your sylladex buzzes indigo-blue letters, never cerulean. 

And because it was just a dream, because it’s always just a dream, your stomach rumbles, still hungry.

**Author's Note:**

> Long Long Time Ago by Jack Conte.


End file.
